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Here are the six differences and similarities between Linux and sex, as discovered by linuxhelp.blogspot.com.

1. Sex is like candy. The more you have it, the more you like it. Linux is also like candy. The more you use it, the more you fall in love with it.
2. The first time you have sex, your spouse complains because you are persistent. Same way, when you start using Linux, your spouse again complains because now you are negligent (to her).
3. It is prudent to practice safe sex the same way as it is safer to use a robust firewall in Linux.
4. Sex is pervasively practiced the world over. Linux is slowly getting there bit by bit.
5. It is alright to have sex any number of times as long as it is with your life partner. Similarly, you can install Linux any number of times as long as it is on your machine and not your colleague’s.
6. Using sex and Linux together in a sentence is nice because they (kind of) rhyme.

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on …

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don’t need to know, don’t want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, “You had to do what with the seat?”

One day, all of the world’s famous physicists decided to get together for a tea luncheon. Fortunately, the doorman was a grad student, and able to observe some of the guests…

• Everyone gravitated toward Newton, but he just kept moving around at a constant velocity and showed no reaction.
• Einstein thought it was a relatively good time.
• Coulomb got a real charge out of the whole thing.
• Cavendish wasn’t invited, but he had the balls to show up anyway.
• Cauchy, being the only mathematician there, still managed to integrate well with everyone.
• Thompson enjoyed the plum pudding.
• Pauli came late, but was mostly excluded from things, so he split.
• Pascal was under too much pressure to enjoy himself.
• Ohm spent most of the time resisting Ampere’s opinions on current events.
• Hamilton went to the buffet tables exactly once.
• Volt thought the social had a lot of potential.
• Hilbert was pretty spaced out for most of it.
• Heisenberg may or may not have been there.
• The Curies were there and just glowed the whole time.
• van der Waals forced himeself to mingle.
• Wien radiated a colourful personality.
• Millikan dropped his Italian oil dressing.
• de Broglie mostly just stood in the corner and waved.
• Hollerith liked the hole idea.
• Stefan and Boltzman got into some hot debates.
• Everyone was attracted to Tesla’s magnetic personality.
• Compton was a little scatter-brained at times.
• Bohr ate too much and got atomic ache.
• Watt turned out to be a powerful speaker.
• Hertz went back to the buffet table several times a minute.
• Faraday had quite a capacity for food.
• Oppenheimer got bombed.

As you can see, Opeke is progressing well. There’s all kinds of new shapes (four, actually, but I’ve really simplified creating new ones), and all kinds of new buttons (nine already).
And what’s you favourite manatee?

• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t
• Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool
• The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.